Let me start by saying this: I didn’t know I needed to breathe better until Othership told me I was doing it all wrong. Apparently, my lungs have been operating like a 1978 Pinto with a busted carburetor. Enter Othership, the app that promises to turn your shallow gasps into something resembling a Zen master’s exhale. And you know what? It kind of works.
The app is like a cross between a yoga retreat and a rave, minus the patchouli and questionable life choices. With over 500 sessions, it’s got more variety than a Florida roadside attraction. Need to chill? There’s a breathwork session for that. Need to wake up? There’s one for that too. It’s like having a personal breathing coach, except this one doesn’t judge you for eating an entire pizza at 2 a.m.
The music is hypnotic, though I’ll admit I spent one session wondering if the soundtrack was composed by a DJ who’s really into whale calls. Still, it works. By the end of a 10-minute session, I felt like I could either run a marathon or take a nap. (I chose the nap.)
Now, let’s talk about the downsides. The app occasionally glitches like a politician’s moral compass, and I wish it had more personalization. Sometimes I feel like I’m breathing in a one-size-fits-all yoga pant—comfortable, but not exactly tailored to my existential crises.
But here’s the thing: Othership is weirdly addictive. It’s like finding out your quirky neighbor, the one who collects garden gnomes and talks to squirrels, actually has the secret to inner peace. You don’t know how it works, but you’re not asking questions.
In conclusion, Othership is the app equivalent of a deep breath after a long day. It’s not perfect, but it’s close enough to make you forget about the chaos of life—or at least breathe through it. And if nothing else, it’s cheaper than therapy.
4.5 out of 5 stars. Would breathe again.
